


Losing Control

by Nellblazer



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Boundaries, Dirty Talk, Dubious Consent, F/M, Hate Sex, Insults, Jealousy, Loss of Control, Marking, Mind Manipulation, Partial Mind Control, Possessive Behavior, Power Dynamics, Power Play, Rough Sex, Toxic Relationship, Verbal Abuse, Verbal Humiliation, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28160559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellblazer/pseuds/Nellblazer
Summary: After receiving the wrong datashard, Johnny Silverhand is determined to take over your body and have fun with you in the process.*Please do not replicate my work anywhere else without my express permission*
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Reader, Johnny Silverhand/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 176
Collections: Cyberpunk 2077 Fave fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Dubcon, verbal humiliation, degradation, loss of control, forced subserviance, insults, lots of swearing  
> (Possible proof reading errors)
> 
> A/N: Been playing a lot of Cyberpunk 2077 while I’ve been healing recently and I wrote this in a codeine fuelled daze but @Escher84 was kind enough to read the ramblings and give it a thumbs up so here it is.

He wouldn't stop talking.

Ever since I'd been handed the wrong datashard to slot into my neural RAM manager, he wouldn't stop talking and he was _everywhere_. I'd see him when I'd wake up, when I'd go to the bathroom, when I was trying to sleep.

Johnny fucking Silverhand.

I'd heard about psyches/personalities being stored on shards, a way to preserve someone's memories but this was beyond what I could've ever imagined. He was physically right in front of me but with a glitch that was more like a hologram. Not really there.

A notorious dead terrorist and he was the worst fucking asshole I'd ever had the misfortune to come across.

I could feel him in there, rewriting my brain sometimes and it was hard to maintain control, to keep a grip on everything that was me. The more he goaded me, the more he slowly crept further in.

I couldn't even shower naked because I was afraid he'd make some comment, although he made plenty about the fact I showered in clothes. I'd never felt so trapped before.

I stopped going outside, confining myself to the run down apartment for fear he'd take over and hurt somebody. That only seemed to make him angrier though.

I awoke to a harsh slap that I appeared to have given myself and I jolted.

“Wakey wakey,” Johnny was on the bed, leaning over me. “I'm bored. Go out and do something.”

“No,” I hiss, reaching for the pills that would make him more compliant, that would slow the inevitable rewrite of my personality for his.

“Trust my luck to take a ride in the most dull brain in Night City,” he scoffs before taking control of my arm and knocking the pills away. “Nuh uh, sweetheart. Not this time. I'm here to stay today.”

“Fuck off!” I dive out of the bed to retrieve the bottle but he's quick and he's already standing over me as our hands meet and he pushes me to the floor.

“Didn't you fuckin' hear me?” he prowls forward. “I'm not going _anywhere_.”

“Get out of my head!”

“Gladly. Put me in someone else who actually has a life, except, oh wait, you can't. The shard is stuck.”

I get to my feet, moving backwards without ever taking my eyes off of him until my back hits the wall. I don't know if it's my imagination creating the scent or if the shard holds some kind of olfactory data but I swear when he lights a cigarette, I can smell the tobacco as he approaches.

“It's not my fault!”

“It kinda is,” Johnny sneers, taking off his sunglasses and having a drag. “Shoddy maintenance on your cyberware?”

“I can't afford a tune up.”

“Well that much is fuckin' obvious,” he gestures around himself to the patchwork apartment. “So let me take control, I'll go get us some eddies to pay for an upgrade and I can go take over someone who actually matters.”

He watches my face for a moment before laughing at my expression.

“Aww, gonna cry about that? You're too precious, baby.”

“Just go the fuck away. Let me take my pills,” I snarl through gritted teeth.

“No,” his discards the cigarette which fade out to nothing before it hits the floor and presses his hands either side of my body, caging me in place. “I can feel it, you know. How much you're slipping away. I can feel the fear you have. I don't like it. It's not useful. So why don't you put on your big girl panties and solve this problem rather than being afraid you'll lose this battle the second you walk outta the door, huh? Don't you want to be free of me or do you just enjoy the view?”

The rage got the better of me. Days of belittlement built up and I tried to hit him but only succeeded in having him mirror the action and I got a blow across the cheekbone just as he did.

“Oh! So you _do_ have some spark!” Johnny chuckles.

“I'm not giving you what you want. You're not going to take over me and I'm going to take this shard out and crush it. You can die a second time.”

His eyes darken, “Wrong move, sweetheart. You're gonna learn your lesson now.”

“What are you going to do to me? Have me slap myself a bunch of times?”

“Not quite,” his mouth upticks in a way that I don't like at all. “Time to give myself some entertainment in this joint.”

I felt the stab of pain in my head that signalled him encroaching further into my brain and I was starting to mirror his own movements now. First he ripped off his combat vest and then the vest underneath it, then his boots, his socks, his trousers and his boxers before finally getting me to tear my bra away until I was bare to him.

“Stop it now, Johnny,” my voice shakes as I try to hide myself.

“I'm just seeing the goods. If I'm gonna take over a woman, I wanna know if I can use this body for my own goals. I wish you didn't hide this from me. Best thing I've seen in this place since I got here.”

I don't want to look at his own nakedness, too preoccupied with covering myself but I feel a strain behind the eyes that gets too great to ignore and I finally have to glance his way.

“Yeaaaaah, took a good long look,” he purrs, showing off a little by squaring his chest muscles. “When I was alive, nobody could get enough of me.”

“You arrogant asshole!”

“My bedpost says otherwise,” he shrugs. “Can you really say you don't want this? You know you can't lie to me. I'm right in your head with you.”

“I really can,” I stare him down.

“You little fuckin' liar,” he grins, almost flush against me and I forgot he wasn't physically there when I was expecting to feel his body heat on mine. “Pathetic, little liar. You're more aroused than you've been in a long time. I got access to all your sad little memories. What a tragic sex life you've had.”

“Shut up.”

“But then there are these little moments, with the Joy Toys and the Dolls. I mean it's pitiful you had to pay for it by the way, but not everyone is me, right? Anyways, I got glimpses of some wild shit you did with them and I'm wondering where that girl is. I keep waiting for her to come out but you insist on playing this meek fucking mouse act. I would've maybe not overwritten you as much if you'd just co-operated with me.”

“ _Now_ who's lying?” I fire back. “You want to be alive again and you'll erase me to do that. I can feel your intent too.”

“Can you feel what my intent is right this second?” he smirks.

I realise a split second before he does it. His hand goes down to his cock just as mine moves down to my v-line.

“Johnny, no!” I look up wide-eyed.

“Yes,” the word comes out venomous. “You stupid little bitch, this is exactly what's going to happen and when it's over, you're going to be a good little girl and go outside to a Ripper Doc. It's time you learned who's really in charge of your body, since you won't play nice with me.”

I have no control over my arms as he moves them, fingers delving, exploring as my body is aflame with humiliation. I can't believe this is happening to me and I can't believe it feels good.

These are my own hands and yet it doesn't feel like my hands. When the control is ripped away, he could be doing this to me himself for all my body recognises.

“Now isn't that a pretty sight?” Johnny's tone is a little strained and when I meet his eyes, I've never seen an intensity like it. “Look at you. No better than a Joy Toy yourself.”

There's a truly piteous whimper that escapes my lips and I bite down, desperate not to make another noise, desperate for him not to win.

“Oh don't tell me you're actually _enjoying_ this?” he laughs callously, as he makes my fingers slip into me, so many that I feel stuffed full. “Oh wow, you _are_. I can feel it.”

He's so close to me that if he were corporeal, I would feel his breath upon my face. My brain is filling in the blanks, making it seem like he's panting along with me and this time the whimper becomes a tiny moan as I look at his furrowed handsome face.

My optic enhancements are not faulty, okay? Johnny Silverhand was that rugged bad boy who'd love you and leave you and even I can to be weak to that, even if he terrifies me in equal measure.

“Let's take it up a notch,” his own hand is working furiously on himself as mine matches the pace exactly and my legs almost crumble with the sensations. “There she is. She's coming out, isn't she? The interesting part of you. Not the sad spinster in this shithole apartment. The you that gets off on danger. That's why you're really afraid, huh? That I'll completely takeover and you won't get to have any fun yourself when I rule the city?”

“Shut up!” I snarl.

“You wanna do something really wild, don't you? Society is holding you back. You can be so much more than this little piece of shit under my shoe, trodden on by everyone, despised.”

“Shut the fuck up!” the sound is becoming feral as I could start to feel the build of an approaching orgasm.

“Admit it,” Johnny leans down so close I swear I could kiss him if he were actually there. “You're holding onto control of a nothing life.”

“It's still my life. I don't wanna be you.”

“As if you could, sweetheart. I told you the goddamn solution. Get me outta your head and into someone else's if you don't wanna share custody.”

“So you can rob a store to pay for the removal surgery? Fuck off, Johnny.”

“Well alright then,” he stops and the orgasm just fades away before it could crest.

The indignance must be written on my face because he just smiles and shakes his head.

“Ask for it if you want it.”

“And you'll let me finish?”

“I didn't say that. I just said ask,” he makes a motion like he's going to bite my bottom lip but realise he can't. “So go on.”

“Maybe I'll just finish _myself_ off,” my hands move back but my arms suddenly jerk away.

“I told you, you stupid fuck. _I'm_ in control. You've lost too much of yourself to get it back fully. So ask me _nicely_ and I'll consider making you cum.”

I hate this. I hate him. The need for release is desperate and he knows it. The smug satisfaction just bleeds through his body.

“Please, Johnny,” I say as boldly as I can because he won't get my subservience like some pliant Doll.

“Again.”

“Please.”

“Well shit, apparently I like you begging a lot. It's half desperation and half spite,” he licks his lips. “You can cum if you get me to a Ripper Doc and into another body. Then I'm out of your hair for good.”

“No violent crime,” I set the terms.

“Oh please,” he rolls his eyes. “Don't go back to being pathetic now. Fine. I can hack a vending system. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Hold tight, baby.”

It was more furious than before, more urgent. I stopped caring about him looking and just surrendered to the feeling. My head fell back against the wall, my eyes fluttered closed and all I could hear was Johnny dirty talking me through the orgasm that nearly made me collapse on the floor.

“That's it. Come on now. You cum for me, you fucking nobody. You make yourself into somebody for me. If I were really here, I'd wait until your pussy was twitching and fuck you so hard against this wall you'll never be able to look at it the same way again. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To feel me stretch you out? To feel me fuck you so hard you're clawing at my back to hold on? Of course you would. I _know_ you would. I'm right in your brain and I know that you want me. Cum for me.”

I still felt the aftershocks long after they should've dissipated. I was a panting mess, slick, trembling and satisfied.

“Get dressed, get me to a terminal and I'll do the rest,” Johnny makes me tap myself on the cheek to get my attention.

“Sure,” I swallow, trying to catch my breath. “You're not going to renege on me, are you? Down the line? Try to accelerate the process or something?”

He studies me for a moment, “No. I want out. Can't stay in your boring little brain forever. Besides, I much prefer seeing you cum from this angle, not from a point of view one.”

“Thought I was boring?”

“Not to look at, dumbass and not to fuck either. Now quit interrogating me and let's get this done.”

**

I didn't ask where the Ripper Doc put Johnny's bioshard. I didn't want to know.

I left the clinic with most of my functions restored but the Doc said I might experience phantom takeovers sometimes and to just keep taking omega blockers. If the worst I had to put up with was a limb that occasionally did it's own thing, that was a small price to pay for hanging onto my psyche.

It was two weeks later when there was a knock at my door and I was about to answer before the door slid open, hacked.

“Hey!” I grab for my gun but freeze when I catch sight of Johnny waltzing in. “What the....”

He closes the door, comes up into my personal space and looks down at the pistol in my hand.

“Were you gonna use that?” he smirks. “Cute.”

“How are you here? How are you looking like you?” I blurt out, putting the gun down.

“They uploaded me into a Doll. Dolls can change their appearance,” he shrugs. “This body is stuffed with cyberware. Why? Don't you appreciate my looks any more?”

“Why did you come back?”

“Because as much as I got in your head, you got into mine,” he seems annoyed by that. “Can't stop thinking about you. It's like I took a bit of you into my bioshard when they extracted me. It's driving me fucking insane.”

“Are you seeing a holo of me then?”

“Don't be a wiseass. No, I just dream about you, daydream about you. All I wanted to do is come back for more. Now I have a body and I can actually do something about these urges”

“Urges? What urg-”

I don't get the chance to finish the sentence before he pounces, knocking me onto my table and he's kissing me with some pent up fury that seems to be mingled with intense passion. I'm so overwhelmed, I barely respond for a moment before my own lust kicks in and I'm grabbing him close.

“Yeah, this is what you want, isn't it?” he drags off my pants and underwear, not bothering to take off his own before unzipping his fly and guiding his cock into me. “A dangerous man? Someone to encourage you?”

“Yes,” I breathe.

“You and I, we're connected now,” he growls as he thrusts so hard that all the cans on the table fall over or off with the impacts. “That's special. I'm not going anywhere. You and I are gonna watch this city burn to the ground around us. Now say my fuckin' name, sweetheart.”

“Johnny!”

**

Johnny waited until you were asleep, worn out from the vicious fucking that hadn't stopped for hours. He didn't even realise he harboured that much hatred and passion until now. The well just hadn't run dry.

He'd never experienced that before.

Just before he skipped out of your apartment, he looked back over his shoulder and at you on the bed, sheets twisted, not really covering any of your naked body. Would he be back? Did he really mean what he said?

He was used to making empty promises to his groupies but you weren't like them.

He scanned you with the optics in his eyes, creating a eyeshot to save for a later date if he felt the need to have quick release somewhere before sauntering out into the hallway and locking the door behind him.

Johnny had an unusual spring in his step as he got into the elevator and leaned back against the wall, sparking up a smoke and inhaling deeply. Fuck he'd missed being alive.

“So that's it?” a voice made his eyes snap open.

“What the fuck?!” Johnny sees a clothed you before him.

“You're just going to bang and bail?”you fold your arms, leaning against the perpendicular wall.

“I thought coming here would get rid of you!” he snarls.

“Gonna have to try harder than that. It's _your_ fault for insisting the shard removal happened at the mid-tier Ripper clinic. I wouldn't have bled my consciousness onto your bioshard if you'd paid for top-tier.”

“Oh so this is my fault, huh?”

“Well yeah,” you laugh.

“You know, I prefer the you that's upstairs. Doesn't talk back as much. Fuck. Why did I have to get the bitchy side of you?”

“Then go be with the real me and I won't have to be here.”

“I don't do relationships.”

“So that burning the city shtick was just lying pillow talk?”

“Look, fuck off!” Johnny tries to slam the wall next to you but you disappear and appear next to him.

“No and guess what? You just uploaded what I look like naked into your brain so now I can use that when you're mean to me,” your clothes suddenly melt away.

“You're nothing special,” he hisses. “Seen one naked chick, seen 'em all.”

“But I'm not just any chick, am I?” the seductive air is dangerous and Johnny wonders how the fuck you can be so different, from shy to femme fatale in an instant. It was throwing him off.

“Yes you are, sweetheart.”

“I'm in your head, Johnny,” you tap him on the forehead but he doesn't feel it. “I know what you're thinking. You liked fucking me and you're wondering if there's something there, something more than a quick roll in the sheets.”

“Leave me the fuck alone,” he growls but he felt himself getting hard at your image in front of him, the way you were using your body to torment him.

Two weeks of this, two weeks of your holo impression torturing him with suitable payback for what he did to you. He just wanted you out of his head.

“No Johnny. You and I, we're connected. You said it yourself. This is for life.”

He just slumped against the wall, closing his eyes and letting the cigarette fall onto the floor. He knew from being in your head previously that there was no way to switch you off completely.

He was stuck with you forever.

He made the choice then and there to go back up to your place, open the door and crawl into the bed with you. When he looked over at the holo you, you gave him a sweet smile before vanishing and he knew you wouldn't come back now he was here.

“Shit,” he whispers.

If he was going to be haunted by anyone, at least you were hot and at least you fucked like a demon.

Could be worse.

“Johnny?” you roll over, eyes bleary with sleep. “You okay?”

“Go back to sleep, baby,” he tries for soft and it seems to work as you settle back down in the pillows with a gentle moan.

He hated that that stirred something in him, something that pulled in his chest. He wasn't supposed to give a shit. He was Johnny fucking Silverhand. He rocked places, he burned places and left a trail of people behind in his bed.

“I fucking hate you,” he murmurs quietly. “I fucking hate that I like you. This is bullshit.”

Your holo appears and sits on the end of the bed, “Guess it's not that clear who's really in control after all, huh? Look after me, protect me or I'll takeover your mind like you tried to do with me. Deal?”

Johnny lies down properly, takes a lock of your hair and runs it through his fingers.

“Deal but don't expect me to like it.”

“Johhhhnnyyyy,” you chide. “Remember who you're talking to. You can't lie to me. Ever.”

“Yeah yeah, just fuck off. I'm spending time with the real you.”

And the holo you vanishes.

“D'ya say something?” you wake up briefly.

“Just that I have plans and maybe you'll be a part of them if you wanna be,” he makes up on the spot.

“As long as one of the plans is Round 2, I'm all in,” you stretch out, body inviting in the pose.

Well...he was already worked up from the naked holo you. Why not? He liked insatiable girls after all. A nice challenge.

“Oh it will be, sweetheart,” he rolls on top of you, relishing the warmth, the comfort and the aggression sparking in your eyes before pushing his pants down again. “The goal is to make you pass out so I can get some fucking peace and quiet to think.”

“Better get to it then. Takes a lot to short me out.”

“Somebody's remembered they got a mouth on them.”

“And I use it very well but you first,” you push his shoulders so he moves down your body.

“If it shuts you up.”

Secretly he doesn't want you to shut up though. The back and forth fuels him, plus the noises you make are fucking incredible. None of that fake bullshit the groupies used to do. This was real.

When his face is buried between your legs, as much as he hates the circumstances, hates that he can't get away from you, he could see this having potential.

Maybe together you really could burn the city to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny tries to be his old self and you’re left behind to deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned into a series and it's entirely Escher's fault, loveable rogue that they are.
> 
> Warnings: Cheating, Jealousy, Violence, Dub Con/Non Con. This is displaying a toxic relationship. Contains slang from the game.
> 
> (Possible proof reading errors)

Five weeks later and Johnny was feeling antsy.

The concept of spending so much time with someone was so alien to him that he couldn't help but revert to self destruction. The domesticity was making him anxious and he didn't know if he liked it. It was too safe.

So he bounced, scalping some money from a vending machine to pay for an apartment so he could have his own space rather than relying on motels and their suspect cleaning practices. The last time he was in one, he couldn't sleep on the bed because it was still wet and he wasn't chancing that it wasn't some kind of bodily fluid.

He spent six days in this new apartment, ignoring your messages when the Holo You decided it wasn't quite done with him yet.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you have your arms folded, leaning against the wall.

“Oh shit,” Johnny rolls his eyes. “I thought I'd gotten rid of you.”

“New flash, asshole. I only go when the real me is around. Otherwise, you're stuck with me.”

“I'm not going back. You can forget it. I don't do long term,” he lies back on the couch.

“Do you really believe that lie? What about Alt?”

“Hey, fuck off!” Johnny hisses viciously. “Stop poking around in my head! That's private!”

“Because you gave any consideration for doing the same to me? Spying on all the memories where I had sex? Payback's a fucker, huh?”

“I'm not doing this. I don't give _two shits_ about you. You're just a warm body, a willing mouth and a tight pussy. I can pick that up anywhere. In fact, I'm gonna pick that up right now,” he gets up, slinging his jacket on and heading out to the nearest club.

The nearest club happened to be Riot and it stunk of Corpo self aggrandising the second he walked in. All these businesspeople, all these clean shirted investigators, all the high rolling owners.

He fucking hated it.

And here he was, a nobody again to everyone. Time was when the Corpos of Night City had come to fear him, where his name was used to strike fear into the heart and now he was just another jack off. Nobody would believe Johnny Silverhand had come back from the dead after all.

Was he really this desperate?

But then he caught sight of the Holo You in the crowd just smirking away and his initial ire returned. Of course you'd fit in right in with these pricks.

When he'd rooted through your memories as a digital construct, he saw your old Netrunning profession for Dynalar Technologies, keeping their cyber infrastructure safe from outside attacks but then you'd got thrown under the bus one day for something your boss did and that was the end of your Corpo career. Johnny didn't understand why you weren't more angry about that fact, why you didn't want to take down the system but instead you'd just become a Netrunner for hire and a goody two shoes one at that.

“Don't like this?” you wave your arm in the direction of the dancing Corpos.

“No and you shouldn't either,” he moves through the crowd. “These assholes cost you your job.”

“That's the meat machine, Johnny. Am I any better than them if I stoop to their level of backstabbing and trickery?”

“Oh don't give me a lesson on the moral fucking high ground,” he retorts, watching you keep up with him. “Look where it's gotten you? Barely surviving whilst they profit off of cutting you loose.”

“At least I keep my dignity and at least my clients know I'm trustworthy and honourable.”

“A fucking pushover is what you are,” he gets to the bar and orders his usual drink. Tequila, beer, bitters and a sprinkle of chilli for kick.

“Is that why you left?”

“I left because you're not worth my time. I don't need some naïve girl with principles hanging off my arm.”

“You didn't think that when I did that thing with my tongue that-”

“-Alright! Fuck!” Johnny squirms, reminiscing enough that he was getting hard. “Just leave me alone. I wanna get deep in someone who isn't you.”

“It'll never be as good.”

“Wow, look who developed an ego all of a sudden.”

“It's not an ego. It's what you think. Your subconscious thoughts.”

“Whatever, you'll say just about anything to throw me off.”

“Have it your way then,” you shrug and walk into the crowd, vanishing into thin air.

So he did. He drank and he drank and he used all of his old charm to grab two girls and bring them back to his place.

He felt nothing though when he was kissing them, no matter how hard he tried to dump passion into the movements. They were just objects to him.

It almost became mechanical to strip his clothes and get them warmed up for him, like a dance you've rehearsed so much you could do it in your sleep. The loud porno noises were grating on him as he used one hand on each girl as they kissed each other.

That didn't do much for him either.

Then after they came, he got on the bed and told them to suck his cock that wasn't hard any more. It worked for a little while, the length thickening but soon he was bored, frustrated. This was easy. It was all too easy and he was bored with it.

He looked over to the corner where the Holo You was sat watching him from the couch with a knowing smile on your face.

“Want help, Johnny?” you cocked your head. “I don't think they're doing much for you, are they?”

As silently as he can, he mouths 'yes' at you. He was too involved to bear any more of this half aroused state and he'd shove aside his pride for a few minutes to get off.

“Look at me,” you call softly to him and your clothing disappears.

Even though the Holo You held so much sass and scorn for him, the construct had managed to capture the vulnerability you had in your bared state, the innocence even though you really weren't innocent at all.

“Oh fuck,” one of the girls murmurs as his cock finally responds. “Hey big boy.”

Shit, she nearly ruined everything with that cheesy line but he kept his eyes on you as you shyly started playing with yourself for him. He'd watched you do that over a week ago as a pathetic attempt to entice him but it had really done something to him obviously because here it was being played out again and it was the only thing spurring him on to cum right now.

“Yeah, you say my fuckin' name,” he lets slip as he's drinking you in.

“We don't know your name,” one of the girls replies.

Johnny had had enough at that point.

“It's Johnny and you're gonna get the fuck under me,” he drags her up and within seconds he's in her, pounding hard.

He's trying to be happy with railing her as brutally as he can, chasing the orgasm that seemed just out of reach the more he physically looked at her underneath. He had to close his eyes, keep going and let his mind wander to the sensations but he just hears you, barely a foot away from him moaning his name out and he's gone, cock twitching as he blows his load.

“Am I not gonna get a turn?!” the other girl pipes up.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ, get the fuck out!” he yells, withdrawing and shoving the girl off the bed to indignant shouts. “Both of you, fuck off!”

Johnny was called all the names they could think of as they gathered their clothes and flounced out of the apartment but he didn't care. The rage he'd had at being so tethered to you was dissipating and in its place was the horrible realisation that he wanted to see you again. The real you.

“Do you get it now, Johnny?” your naked Holo sits down on the bed next to him.

“That I can't get rid of you? Yeah, I got that loud and clear,” he sparks up a cigarette, puffing hard to get the nicotine hit. “So what, it's the shard's fault I can't get it up for someone else?”

“No. I'm sure if you found the right person you'd be able to fuck them no problem but going after two girls you'd never normally screw? They're not going to measure up.”

“So why do I want to screw you so much then?”

“You know the answer to that. You thought it when I was getting myself off for you.”

“The innocence and morality is part of the attraction,” he sneers bitterly, taking another long drag. “I don't like that though. I like girls who ride hard, can shoot straight and fight dirty.”

“Because you always remain loyal to them, huh?” you raise an eyebrow. “Rogue? Alt? You cheated on both of them repeatedly and you know why?”

“I'm sure you're gonna tell me,” he sighs.

“You don't actually like girls like that. Not for the long long term anyways.”

“What are you, my shrink now?”

“Just telling you what's in your brain. What you do with that is up to you,” your clothes shimmer back on. “But don't delude yourself into thinking you don't give a shit about me because you do.”

“Then why am I here fucking other women?”

“To keep up the lie that Johnny Silverhand never gets attached.”

And then you're gone.

He just finishes the cigarette, letting the nicotine roll through his system before looking at his phone and scrolling through the messages he's gotten from you. Mostly you seem concerned about him and he notices the regularity with which you send your messages that suddenly stopped around midday today.

  * **If you're out for groceries, can you pick me up some real fruit?**

  * **You okay?**

  * **Johnny, are you there?**

  * **I'm getting worried, can you let me know you're okay?**

  * **If you want to ghost me, at least have the courtesy to tell me we're done.**

  * **I just want to know you're alright.**




Those were some of the highlights. It wasn't an excessive amount but enough to let him know he was on your mind since he'd left.

So he messaged back:

  * **I'm fine. Needed some time and space to get my head straight. Be over tomorrow.**




What he didn't expect was to get a message five minutes later with the most cussing he'd ever known from you.

  * **If by get your fucking head straight you mean sticking your tongue down girls throats then I don't want you to come over, you fucking prick. I'm not some Joy Toy you can climb on whenever you fucking feel like it. You really are a fucking dickwipe, Johnny. Don't you ever fucking visit me again.**




“What the fuck?!” he's surprised by the level of hatred.

“Are you really that surprised?” Holo You is back. “You promised me the world, that we'd do great things together and then you run away without a word. Sounds like I found out what you've been up to tonight too. No wonder I don't want to see you.”

“How did.....” he trails off before going to his computer and logging onto the Riot website.

The main dancefloor camera flickers on his screen, the rave still in full swing and he scrolls it back until he sees himself but he also sees...

“Oh shit,” his heart catches in his chest.

You were there. You were in the club and you'd seen him with two girls draped all over him. He watched you get off the bar stool quickly and high tail it outta there.

He goes to write you a message but you've blocked him. He doesn't know why that makes him more determined to get in contact with you.

He showers, determined to scrub those two Corpo girls off of him before redressing and grabbing his jacket. On his way past the computer, he stops.

You'd come back into Riot after Johnny had left. At first he thinks it was maybe to confront him but he sees you getting cosy with some guy before you both exit together.

“Good for me,” Holo You laughs softly. “I'm not normally that forward. Guess being angry at you works wonders for my confidence.”

“You're not seriously gonna fuck that guy, are you?!” Johnny whirls around to you.

“Yeah I probably am. I know what I'm like. Normally I'd drown my sorrows in a Joy Toy or Doll but I must be _really_ pissed off at you to offer it to a stranger at a club.”

He puts his jacket and boots on quickly, the laces not co-operating before he manages to tame them.

“Oh I see,” you tut, shaking your head. “You care when some _other_ guy is gonna get a leg over.”

“Oh fuck you, you're in my head and you already know I'm mad about it,” he spits back. “I didn't think you'd be the type to get petty revenge.”

“Your chip was in my head, Johnny. Maybe you rubbed off on me more than I realised.”

He's already out of the door, jacking somebody's motorcycle and speeding off before they could catch him. He's going at a dangerous pace, barely avoiding the cars as he weaves in and out of them.

He didn't remember the last time he was this enraged over a chick.

Not you, not sweet little moral clinging you. This is not what girls like you did. This is not what Johnny would _let_ you do. If you were going to be corrupted by anyone, it was going to be him, not some Corpo prick in a suit.

**

It'd been days since Johnny had disappeared and I'd given up hope of him coming back.

I should've known. Johnny's womanising reputation was laid out in the annals of history after all.

Still, I hacked the police database and the hospital database looking for any sign of him, just in case he hadn't bailed on me and was just unable to contact me.

The more time went on, the more I just accepted he'd left.

That was until the sixth day when I woke up to see Johnny sat on the edge of my bed.

“Where the fuck have _you_ been?!” I snap at him.

“Miss me?” he sneers back.

I'm about to touch his arm when he flickers, just like he did when he was a digital construct, the holo version.

“Yeah, I'm back,” he puts one leg up on the bed and leans against the opposite wall. “Doc said there might be occasional side effects, huh?”

“Great so I have to be reminded of you every now and then?” I fall back into the pillows. “Just what I need.”

“What you _need_ is to stop moping around like a fucking heartbroken teenager. It's vomit inducing. Face it, I'm gone. I'm not coming back. You know this.”

“So I get you as the consolation prize?”

“You wish, sweetheart.”

“Ughhhh,” I vocalise, putting my hands over my face. “Just go away, Johnny. I'm not in the mood.”

“No I bet. Somebody caught feelings quick, didn't they?”

“You've been in my head and then around me for a little while. Don't act like I'm head over heels when I'm just familiar around you.”

“'Familiar'?” he snorts and I look at him silently chuckling to himself. “Never heard it called that before. You do crack me up.”

“Go. Away.”

“No,” he's suddenly pouncing on top of me but I don't feel the weight, even as I shrink back into the mattress. “You're gonna stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself and get back out there. I don't care what your coping mechanism is, get drunk, get high, get a Doll or whatever but just do it and move on. If you're gonna lie here all day bitching about how it isn't fair how you're treated, well then fuckin' do something about it then. Take control of your life. You should be more grateful I didn't take control of you before so do something with that new lease.”

“You're not gonna leave me alone unless I agree, are you?”

“Smart girl.”

“Then fine. I'll go out drinking later.”

“Finally, some entertainment,” he grins before vanishing.

As much as I hated to agree with Johnny, he was right. Acting like this wasn't going to help me ultimately and I needed to get back to that stage in my life before Johnny entered it, albeit with a little more confidence.

So I went to Riot, my old haunt when I just another Corpo, decked out in my best and sexiest clothing. I wasn't trying to attract anyone, it was just the outfit that made me feel the most powerful.

When I got in, I was about two whiskeys down and remembering how little interaction I ever made with anyone in here. No wonder I never got laid much. Maybe I should try a bit harder, but then I was also nervous to.

I knocked another drink back for courage and was about to get up when I spotted Johnny at the bar with two girls touching his chest as he had his arms around them. I knew this was the real one because the Holo Johnny could never conjure up anyone other than himself.

“So _that's_ what I got up to,” the Holo Johnny is at my side. “Told ya. You should've known what I was like.”

“A spineless coward,” I hiss, getting up and marching out until I'm in the back corridors, leaning my head against the wall.

“Don't be mad at me for being who I've always been,” Holo Johnny is right there with me. “You're not the first chick who thought she'd change me and you won't be the last.”

“Oh fuck you,” it comes out as a growl.

“Wow, I really got under your skin, didn't I?” he laughs. “I don't think I've ever seen you this mad before. So question is, what are you gonna do with that rage?”

“What?”

“Just gonna let it fizzle out? Gonna give me a piece of your mind? Hit me?”

I was angry enough to be violent. All of Johnny's honeyed words and I'd fallen for them like a naïve little girl. He'd made me worry whilst all the time he was probably balls deep in some other woman.

“Hit you,” I walk back in with the full intention to punch him in the face but Johnny had already gone.

So my anger boiled over into the next thing it possibly could.

I went for the nearest attractive man and said something I have never in my life said to anyone before.

“Hey handsome, you don't need to buy me a drink or anything. We can skip the prelude and go straight to the fucking, if you want?”

“Your place or mine?” the guy grins.

“Mine. Come with me. I don't live far away.”

“Hey, what are you doing?!” Holo Johnny appears on the street as we get outside. “I said hit me not go fuck some skeazy Corpo dick!”

But I ignore him. I ignore every attempt he makes to put me off, making out with this guy in the elevator to my apartment as the rage becomes lust and I know now that I just want to fuck the memory of Johnny away.

“Damn you're eager,” the guy mutters, grabbing handfuls of my ass. “Oh baby, we're gonna have fun tonight.”

I get a message as we go into the corridor, from Johnny...

I see the bullshit lie about needing space and just see red, texting the most unfiltered response, letting him know my true feelings before blocking him. I didn't want to think about the lying fuck right now.

When the guy and I get into the apartment, it's passion and roving hands. I was taking the lead, which I never usually did. I held all the cards as I got him naked and started stroking his cock as he let me do what I wanted to him.

“Oh my god, this is pitiful,” Holo Johnny says from the corner. “He's one of those guys who gets off on being dominated. That isn't what you want. I know you.”

“Shut up!” I accidentally say out loud.

“Whatever you want, baby. I'll be silent for you if you want me to be,” the guy bites his lip to stop the moaning.

In my frustration, I pull him over to my kitchen table, pushing the last of my clothes off and I sit on it as he drops to his knees and starts working my pussy with his tongue.

“Not as good, is it?” Johnny's chuckling. “Doesn't excite you as much when someone just does what you tell 'em.”

He's fucking right and I hate it. So I do anything that'll help me over the edge, I buck against this guy's face, I press just over my mound to intensify the sensations and I finally feel that cresting, the build up and cum with considerable effort but I still cum in a way that has me twitching.

“He got lucky,” Johnny huffs. “You helped him. I didn't need any help when I did this. You just purred for me, screamed for me.”

I don't answer, standing up and dragging the guy on the table where I straddle him.

“What a view,” he grabs my thighs as I sink down onto him.

“Cock's a lot smaller than mine too,” Johnny supplies. “Not his fault but you're used to finer things now.”

I wish I knew what this construct wanted. One second he was encouraging me to get over Johnny Silverhand and the next he was actively ruining my chances of doing that.

I just brace my hands on this guy's chest and start riding him, rolling my hips in a way that felt good, where his cock could brush that sweet spot that had me gasping again. I finally got enough of a pace to lean back and just go for it as the guy reached up and played with my breasts.

Then all hell broke loose as my door slid open, despite me locking it and there was a monstrous yell that had me freezing up immediately,

Two Johnnys were looking at me when I opened my eyes but one faded away, leaving me with no doubt that the _actual_ Johnny Silverhand had just hacked my door.

“What the-” the guy looks around in shock but Johnny just pulls me off, throwing me onto the couch and then getting the guy by the neck.

“You get the fuck out before I kill you,” Johnny hisses. “She's not yours.”

“Who the hell are you?” the guy stands his ground.

“Her input.”

“Well not any more, pal.”

“I'm not your fucking pal.”

I don't know if I was more surprised that Johnny had referred to himself as my partner or that a fist fight had broken out. I could only cover myself with a blanket as the noise drew a crowd outside my apartment to watch Johnny and the naked guy duking it out.

I half expected the guy to go down easily but he held his own, even causing Johnny to bleed from the mouth with a well landed hook. Ultimately Johnny was the better fighter though and he got him in a headlock, forcing the guy to walk outside into the hallway and then I don't know what happened after that.

All I knew was that Johnny returned, locked my door and just stared at me, blood on his face and shoulders heaving with unbridled fury. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I _could_ say to what just happened until my own residual anger kicks in and I stand up.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” I yell.

“You know why,” he doesn't move, doesn't flinch.

“So what, I tell you to take a hike and you come break into my place?! You fight someone I was busy with?! Why is it okay for you to go fuck whatever gonk crosses your path but the second that I do it, you get mad!”

He opens his mouth but I've had enough.

“You know what?” I interrupt him before he can speak. “I don't wanna know. I just want you to leave.”

“I'm not going anywhere.”

“Yes you fucking are,” I come over and shove him hard so he stumbles back. “Get out!”

“No,” he tries to put a hand on my face but I'm blinded by a need to make him understand how much I hate him right now.

I land the punch, making his head snap to the left and he staggers, looking at me in surprise.

“You hit me!” he blinks. “Holy fuck, I never thought you had it in ya.”

“I have my limits, Johnny and you trampled all over those. Get the fuck out.”

“No,” he repeats before fighting with me and eventually slinging me over his shoulder, ripping the blanket away. “Because you need to remember who's in control here.”

I swear so much at him and he doesn't even respond as he gets me in my shower, pins me to the wall and turns it on. I get a stream of water to the face and splutter.

“First I'm gonna wash that Corpo fuck from you and then we're gonna do some re-education,” he forces my body to stay put whilst also putting his head in the shower stream too to clear the blood away, hair becoming soaked.

“You are not waltzing back in here like you did nothing wrong,” I try to kick him but he blocks it with his leg.

“No I _did_ do something wrong,” he says with such conviction that I stop struggling. “Those were the first people I'd tried to fuck since I left and I was more pissed that it wasn't you. Then I watched the Riot website cams and saw you'd seen me there and walked off with the cock with life support attached.”

“Oh yeah, you look really cut up about it,” I sass. “I saw how you were with them. Didn't look too annoyed they weren't me.”

“And yet I had to think about you getting yourself off to even get hard with them. Do you have _any_ idea how fucking embarrassing that shit is?”

From the venom in his voice I could tell he wasn't lying. His ego was severely bruised.

“Now feel this,” he puts his groin between my legs and I feel how painfully hard he is. “Five fucking minutes of being around you, being this close to you again. I fucked up, I get it. I tried to be the old me and the old me's been dead for fifty years. So we'll put this behind us and carry on, huh?”

“No!” I look at him incredulously. “You don't get to run off, fuck other women and come back. I have more self respect than that.”

“Did you _see_ the guy you were fucking or were you too drunk?” he counters. “That's not self respect. That's petty desperate revenge.”

“I told you. I'm not discardable. So go back to your bar girls. I'm done.”

“You're not done. You're done when I _say_ you're done,” his expression darkens. “I want you, I _need_ you.”

“I'm not listening to this bullshit any more. It's all lies.”

“It's not lies for once,” he steps back, peeling his wet vest top from himself, taking off his boots and pants so he's naked too. “I mean it.”

“Even if you do mean it, you'll get cold feet again or you'll get bored of me.”

I don't get the opportunity to dart around him before he's pressed me against the wall again and I can feel the heat of his body.

“I'll just get you to loosen up, to do things for yourself for once. You already did something out of the ordinary tonight and as much as I hate the thought of some other guy in you, it turns me on that you did something so confidently. I saw the way you were riding him, like you owned him, like he was nothing more than a pleasure toy. Fuck.”

He's rolling his hips gently so his cock slides against me and I almost cave in. It would be so easy to cave in.

“And if I don't 'loosen up'?” I ask.

“You will. As much as you wanna fix me, I wanna make you let loose so we'll meet somewhere in the fuckin' middle, yeah?”

“No, you're not doing this,” I brace my hands on his chest to push him back. “I'm not falling for it. You can't talk about me like I'm a done deal.”

“Oh but you are,” he grins. “You're my girl and you know it. Why else would you be so fucked off to jump on strange cock? You like me as much as I like you and that's why it hurts, right? Why it fuckin' hurts for us to see each other with other people?”

“I'm _not_ your girl,” I snarl.

“Yes you fuckin' are and I'll show you,” comes the aggressive response.

He's manhandled my leg up around his waist, cock pushing into my already slick channel from earlier and as much as I want to shove him off, I'm still aching from the lack of a second orgasm that got ruined by his surprise entrance.

Instead I just rake my nails along his chest so he hisses with the pain, hips snapping to mine sharply.

“Yeah, you wanna fuckin' hurt me? Hurt me,” he encourages, ramming hard.

It was different to the guy I'd picked up from Riot. Even when I felt like I had some modicum of control with hurting Johnny, he still remained firmly as the dominant party of us two. The more I scratched, bit, slapped and hit him, the wilder he got until I forgot why I was so angry.

In the end, I was clinging onto him tightly before he disentangled us, spun me around and reseated himself in me, fucking me from behind. One hand wound in the root of my hair, the other smacking my ass as he growled out,

“Whose girl are you?”

I refused to answer and he got even more vicious, determined to make me feel him the next day.

“Whose fucking girl are you?”

“Yours!” I scrabble at the slippery wall, before my arms go behind my head to wrap around his neck.

“Say it. Whose fucking girl?!”

“Johnny's girl!”

The hand that was spanking me moved in front, circling my clit harshly, a feverish pace that forced me towards the orgasm I'd been denied earlier and just as the wave broke, Johnny bit down hard on my shoulder, nearly breaking the skin.

I don't even remember the noise I made, too lost in the sensation before I felt Johnny turn my head, kissing me with his tongue seeking mine and pushed as deep as he could, flooding me as he came too.

“And don't you fuckin' forget that,” he rasps, biting at my lip which was his favourite thing to do to get me to pay attention. “I see you with another man, I'll kill him in front of you.”

“I see you with another girl and I'll hack your cyberware so you become permanently impotent,” I retort.

“I like the threat,” he laughs, a deep rumble in his chest. “Feel like I'm seeing the real you now and you do have fire after all.”

“So you're not gonna just ghost me again?”

“Nuh uh,” he holds me back to him which was unusual.

He never liked to be affectionate particularly but just as I thought he was turning over a new leaf, he bent down and nipped at my earlobe with a satisfied grunt.

“Because all that shit about us being bonded-” I start.

“-it's not shit. It's true. I just hate being told I _have_ to be tied to someone. Now I'm making the choice. Stop being fuckin' insecure. You're mine. I marked you up. That's all there is to it.”

“So what now?”

“Now we fuckin' sleep,” he steps away, washing his hair properly. “And then tomorrow, you're gonna do something you've never done before. I bare my soul to you, you do something in return for me.”

“Bared your soul? When?!” I grab the shampoo from around him and start working my own hair.

“When I said you're mine. Know precisely how many people I've said that to? Zero, nada, zip, zilch. Doesn't that tell you what you need to know?”

“You know, when people say 'bare their soul' they mean really deep stuff or vocalising their feelings explicitly.”

“Oh fuck,” he shakes his head. “Fine, I fuckin' like you and I didn't like being away and you've fuckin' ruined me for screwing any other girl. Happy?”

“Yeah, I am. Not so hard, right?” I use my hip to push him out of the way to rinse the suds out. “And alright, I'll do one out of the ordinary thing tomorrow but don't make me do anything that'll get me killed.”

“Oh you'll love it. Trust me,” he gets out, towelling his hair off.

“I _don't_ trust you.”

“You will.”

And he saunters out buck naked into my apartment where I discover he's gotten into my bed like he owns it, sprawled out watching the news on the opposite wall in the cubby.

“Thought you wanted sleep?” I get in after drying off.

“I'm just getting inspiration,” he smirks cryptically before settling down. “Now go to sleep. I must've worn you out.”

“And I didn't wear you out?”

“Oh you did but I like watching you sleep. It's peaceful.”

The admission is so unlike Johnny that I don't say anything smart in return. I just get under the sheets and turn off the lights, letting the weariness take me, even with all the aches he's given me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Johnny makes sure you honour your promise to do something wild for once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Angst, exhibitionism, smut, possessive behaviour
> 
> (Possible proof reading errors)

It was still strange to Johnny to wake up with a permanent warmth next to him. Stranger still the fact he glanced past you and saw the digital construct of you just casually wandering around your apartment naked.

His mind must still be fucked to be bleeding images of you everywhere days later but at least the Holo You wasn't giving him nearly as much shit since he'd started hanging around you more.

He lay back as the actual you moved in your sleep and he watched the rise and fall of your chest for a moment longer before quietly getting up.

Today was the day after all.

Today you'd do something wild, just liked you'd promised and he knew the perfect thing to start with.

After leaving you a note, he left your apartment, cigarette on the go as he walked out into the shithole that was Night City. His eyes were assaulted by graphic images, bright colours, tits and cock everywhere.

Sex sells but Jesus fuckin' Christ was he sick of it.

He casually put through a car window, hopping in and jacking the steering system with the new cyberware he had before making off to the tired little motel that sat on the border of the Badlands.

"I've not had a road trip in ages."

Your voice cuts through the silence and Johnny nearly loses control of the wheel.

"FUCK! DON'T DO THAT!" he shouts as the Holo You puts your feet up on the dashboard. "I only just came back from the dead. Gimme some goddamn warning before you appear!"

"Where's the fun in that?" you answer innocently.

"You know the more you piss me off in this form, the worse I'll make it for the real you?" Johnny shoots a quick nasty look. "And I was gonna take it relatively easy on you today."

"Don't lie. You're a sadistic fuck, Johnny," you shake your head.

"Ohhhhh, you're gonna act all high and mighty like you _didn't_ turn into a fucking animal when I fucked you all rough," he laughs. "You _love_ that I'm a sadistic fuck."

The fact you stopped talking made him feel like he'd finally gotten one over on Holo You. About time too. He didn't like being on the back foot.

"Where the hell are we going anyway?" you sit there, looking pissed off.

"Back when I was alive, I stored a few things in a no-tell motel. Hid them in the walls. If the thing is still standing, I'll bring it back to the real you."

"And what are you planning?"

"You don't know? I thought you were in my head?" he sasses.

"I don't get how this works either, Johnny. The bioshard was an experiment. I never had full insight into your memories when you were in my head and I can't read your conscious thoughts now. So what are you planning?"

"Fuck if I'm gonna tell you this soon. I wanna surprise you once, just once. Just fuckin' give me that, alright? You'll get a kick outta it I promise."

You eye him warily, "I don't trust you."

"That's probably smart."

By the time he'd actually found the motel, he'd driven past it a few times. It was dilapidated, dirty and crumbling. When he entered the ruins and went up to the room that he was aiming for, he wasn't even sure if his stash would be here or not. Fifty years was a long time to be dead after all.

Most of the bedroom was still intact and he scooped up a chair and began hammering away at the wall. Plasterboard and wallpaper splintered under his assault.

“Getting some anger out?” Holo You leans against the broken desk.

“Do you have no fucking patience?” Johnny grunts as he swings again, the crawl space exposed behind it.

He devolves into tearing apart the thing with his bare hands, ignoring the splinters and the pull at his nails before he finally uncovers the hidden items. Staring back at him was his favourite guitar but that wasn't what he was here for.

“Ohhhh starting a band again?” you venture.

“Patienceeeeeee,” Johnny hisses, flipping you off over his shoulder as he reaches in to get his old stage clothing. “Yes. Like it's hardly aged a day.”

The old Samurai tank top, printed pattern still vibrant but cracked in a few places. There was one rip near the right breast of it where an overenthusiastic groupie had gotten too wild.

“Clothes? _This_ is your big plan?”

“Oh it's not for me,” he grins before gathering the rest of his stuff and heading back to the car.

“That's for _me_? No way am I wearing that,” you scoff. “I'm not your fangirl.”

“Let's see what the real you has to say about that,” Johnny starts the engine and begins the long ride back.

  
  


**

  
  


“Rise and shine, sweetheart!”

Johnny's voice made me bolt upright. My heart was pounding ten to the dozen in my chest as I tried to work out what was going on.

Before me, Johnny was sat on the bed and I stared at him to make sure he wasn't going to flicker. I never knew which Johnny I was going to get upon a first greeting. When he remained solid, however, I tapped at my cheeks to wake myself up more.

“What's happening?” I slur my words.

“Today's the day. We're going on a field trip. Put this on, no underwear and no complaints,” he shoves a clothing pile at me.

I stare at what he's passed over. A tank top of his band, the shortest skirt in existence and fishnets with a very suspicious rip in the gusset.

“Are you kidding me?!” I look up incredulously. “I'm not wearing this!”

“Too short for you?”

“I don't give a fuck about the skirt. It's the tank top I object to.”

“Really?” he takes off his sunglasses and it's odd seeing bewilderment on his face. “Why?”

“I don't like Samurai. You should know this. You were in my head.”

I watch him rack his brains for what I'm talking about. Clearly he doesn't remember. Maybe he didn't access those particular memories.

“Give me a fuckin' clue here,” he shakes his head.

“My dad was one of your rivals,” I point a finger at the Samurai logo. “Like of all the bioshards in all the world, I _had_ to get the one with _your_ consciousness on it. That's some cruel irony there. Then to top that off, I actually started to like you. How twisted am I?”

“I remember you feeling ashamed when I was in your head but I just chalked that up to you being shy,” Johnny shrugs. “So who was he? Your dad? Was he in Corporate Martyr?”

“No, Curse These Metal Hands. He went by Jimmy Steele on the stage.”

“Oh shit!” Johnny stands up. “ _That's_ your dad?! I'm fucking...oh man. Jimmy Steele was an _asshole_. How the fuck did he make someone as do-gooder as you?”

“By dying when I was young so he didn't have the time to influence me,” I answer bluntly. “He was pretty old when he and my mom got together. He tried settling down but then Henry, your bassist, had to go stoke up the fire again by petrol bombing my dad's house. They got into a shoot out and well...”

“Of course Henry would,” he rolls his eyes. “He always clung to the glory days well after Samurai broke up. So that's why you won't wear it? On principle?”

“I guess.”

“Did you actually like your dad?”

“I don't remember him much.”

“Lemme tell you about Jimmy Steele, sweetheart,” Johnny takes my hand so I'll look him in the eye. “You think _I'm_ bad? He was ten times worse. He would make it a point of taking every girl in a five mile radius backstage into his rooms whenever Samurai was playing the same venue in the same night, just so we'd have no fun and he got use outta each and every one a' them. I've walked on some shit that even _I_ found extreme.

He broke into my place once and beat the shit outta me because I told him the song _Money For My Joy_ was derivative as fuck. He'd steal parts from really old bands and frankenstein them together and that's not talent, that's just copying.

Also, you _really_ don't wanna know what he did to Anna Key from Corporate Martyr when she told him to get fucked after a come on. Your dad was a vile piece of shit. That's why I'm surprised you're his daughter. You're nothing like him.”

“What did he do to her?” morbid curiosity is compelling me to ask but I'm really not sure I actually want to hear the answer.

“Nuh uh,” Johnny shakes his head. “Not my place to tell you.”

“Fine, then I'll look it up,” I brush past him, going to my hidden room with the netrunning chair and set up.

“Hey!” he grabs me before I can open the door. “Just trust me, okay? It'll rip you open if you go looking for it. I'm not saying I was an angel back then and I'm not even sure I'm much better now but your dad doesn't deserve your loyalty.”

“And you do? After what you did?”

“Alright fair but you got your own revenge and I committed after that. I even said I was your boyfriend in front of witnesses. Just...I know it'll upset you if you go searching for that info.”

“You care if I'm upset?”

“You got under my skin as much as I got under yours. Don't make a big thing of it,” he gets a little defensive before going to my vending machine and hacking a free soda.

It was his momentary declaration of fondness that finally cemented my decision. I knew my dad was not a good guy just from rumours alone but I'd never been that masochistic to look up exactly why he was disliked. I strangely trusted Johnny's account of their past because it'd been so passionately hateful.

“Fine, I'll put the stupid tank top on,” I grumble but it's not as convincing as I would've liked to have said it.

All in all, when dressed in the outfit he'd picked out, I was barely decent. The top hung to just under my ass and the skirt only hung an inch or two below that. One wrong hike of my leg and I'd be exposing myself.

“I feel like a Joy Toy,” I wrap my arms around myself uncomfortably.

“You are,” Johnny smirks. “You're _my_ Joy Toy. Now come on, your one wild thing for today awaits.”

“This isn't the wild thing?”

“You're so precious, it hurts,” he starts laughing uncontrollably as he leads me out of the apartment tower and onto the streets of Night City.

It takes me a while to figure out where we're going but once I see the big circular ring road of Corpo Plaza, I start to get nervous. Just why the hell were we here?

Johnny takes my hand to lead me into a side alley before stopping dead. The wicked grin does not do anything for my bravery.

“Something you've never done before,” he starts. “Something illegal but only minorly.”

“Johnny...”

“You-” he cups the back of my head and pulls me flush to him. “-my little Corpo girl, are gonna suck my cock a stone's throw away from the assholes who ruined both of our lives.”

“I can't do that!” my eyes go wide. “We could get arrested!”

“Then you'd better use every fuckin' trick you have. You don't wanna risk the chances of being caught? Make me cum fast,” he starts undoing the fly on his leather pants. “I know you have the skills to do that.”

“I'm not...I can't...” I stammer.

He just pulls on my hair lightly so my head tips back before capturing my bottom lip in between his teeth with a growl in his throat. From there his tongue invades my mouth as he kisses me fiercely and I'm cursing the day Johnny Silverhand ever figured out what gets me aroused in ten seconds flat.

“Don't back out on me now,” his other hand runs over my hip. “You can do this. Tell you what, I'll sweeten it. You do this and I'll owe you something boring and everyday.”

“More than just words about how you feel?”

“More than words.”

“Well.....shit, okay,” I take a deep breath to steady myself before dropping to my knees in that alleyway.

He must've been surprised how quickly I pulled his already hard cock free, pants askew around his thighs before I immediately took the whole of him in my mouth and sank as far down as I could before my throat protested.

“Fuck! Jesus!” he cries as I push beyond the limits and take him further down. “Man, you really _are_ nervous, huh?”

I don't answer, hand curling around the base of his cock whilst I bobbed my head, tongue lathing at the underside of him as I went. I didn't dare look to the ends of the alley whilst I did it, too scared to see someone looking back at me. I only concentrated on the purrs of appreciation from above me that were spurring me on.

“Open your eyes,” Johnny commands and I look up at his furrowed brow, the savaged lip and the raw look of lust in his eyes. “Shit, that's it. Look at you. Fuck that's beautiful.”

I could feel the twitch of appreciation from him as I swirled my tongue on the most sensitive part of him. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling he was deliberately holding back to make me work harder for it.

“I could just be like this all fucking day,” he groans, head falling back to rest against the building exterior.

The noise of protest I make has him laughing. He's so loud I'm sure someone is going to glance this way walking by.

“Well come on, then sweetheart. If you don't wanna be here all day, you know what to do.”

Hearing footsteps at the end of the alley, I panic and grab at the back of his thighs. Using his own body, I pull him so he's fucking my face, not caring how deep he goes or how much mess I'm making, spit tracking down my chin as I go for it.

That does the trick.

I hear his stuttered moan as his cock pulses between my lips and I quickly swallow, trying to desperately get up and decent before my nerve cracks completely. Johnny's in too much of a daze to right himself and his hands are keeping me in position as he rides the last of his orgasm out.

Even though I was hyper alert, there was a sense of victory that I'd managed to make him cum that quickly though, that I'd won the challenge. I could do something daring when I wanted to.

“HEY!” there's a shout from the end of the alleyway.

I fall back from Johnny, seeing a cop's uniform and get to my feet sharpish. Johnny stuffs himself back in his pants, barely bothering to re-zip before grabbing my hand.

“Run!” he shouts.

We flee the opposite way, weaving in and out of the crowd on the main street as we're being chased. I end up taking the lead, pulling Johnny through several shortcuts and then jump for a ladder to the roof of a smaller building.

Up we scale and we're far enough in front that the cop breezes right by us when he finally gets to our spot as we watch from above. We wait another minute before daring to speak again...well, what I mean by that is Johnny bursts into fits of laughter and doesn't stop.

I just roll my eyes and wipe my face clear on the back of my hand. It must have been a good few minutes before he finally calms down.

“Are you done?” I raise my eyebrow.

“That was just too fuckin' good,” his voice hitches as he fights to keep himself under control. “Ahhh man.”

“I knew we'd get caught.”

“Do you see a pair of cuffs on us?” he takes me by the waist. “We got away. You sucked my cock in public, less than a quarter mile from Arasaka Tower, less than half a mile from Dylanar Technologies and we got away with it. I'm so fuckin' proud of you. I thought you'd pussy out halfway through but you kept going.”

“You know I don't like leaving something half finished.”

“C'mere,” he kisses me. “Stop pouting. You enjoyed that.”

His hand moves under my skirt, free access to find the obvious wetness between my legs. I was treated to the Johnny Silverhand smug grin special.

“You enjoyed that _a lot_ it seems,” his fingers don't move away, instead they stroke lightly back and forth, not enough pressure to hit the spot but enough to make me want him to do that.

“Oh just shut the fuck up and make me cum, you asshole,” I growl at him.

“Right here? In public?” he teases.

“I swear I will hit you again if you keep being a little shit to me.”

“Fuck I love seeing this side of you,” he groans before pushing me back towards an air-con unit and bending me over it so my face is resting on the cool metal.

Knelt behind me, I feel his thumb slide into me, fingers cupping along the curve of my body towards my clit and he works a rhythm of that whilst leaning over me and kissing at the exposed skin of my shoulder.

“That what you want, huh?” he seems amused by how quickly I'm responding to him.

“Yes.”

“Oh I can tell. Just listen to that needy little cunt you have there,” he falls silent after that so I can hear the obscene noises as he thrusts his fingers rapidly.

I've reached the stage of not caring who heard me very quickly, too engrossed in chasing my own release. I'm sure whoever was below just thought someone was watching porn too loudly anyway.

“Faster,” it's almost a whisper as I beg him.

“Only if you admit you liked sucking my cock in public,” he chuckles.

“Yes I liked it and I would fucking do it again,” I lose all composure, so close to the edge but not quite tipping over.

“Oh shit,” Johnny bites at the back of my neck. “That's my girl. Come on now.”

He moves his hand faster and faster until I fall apart around his fingers. Half of Corpo Plaza must've heard the lewd cry I made but I didn't care any more. There was only Johnny and I in that moment.

“Wow,” Johnny removes his hand, letting me slide bonelessly off the unit to the ground. “Can't say I was expecting this kind of reaction to my plans.”

“I'm not as do-good as you think, Johnny,” I pant, trying to pull myself back together.

“Apparently not. Get you aroused enough and you'll do practically about anything it seems,” he quips. “So how about this?”

He drags me up to my feet, tightly wrapping me in his arms, “You and I...we make this interesting. I offered you an everyday favour so why not alternate? Sometimes we do the domestic thing, sometimes we do something wild.”

“Is it always going to be illegal?”

“Probably,” he shrugs. “Do you care?”

“I might do depending on what you ask.”

“You've killed before though. Can't get much worse than that, sweetheart.”

“For a job, Johnny, because they were bad people.”

“So we kill some bad people. Come on, we could be a vigilante Sid and Nancy here.”

“We could be who?”

He looks pained. His eyes flutter closed as he sighs long and hard.

“Well that's one way to make me feel a million years old. Fuck. Bonnie and Clyde?”

“Is that a TV show?”

“Here's your domestic favour,” Johnny looks incredibly unimpressed. “Tomorrow we're watching movies together. I'm giving you an education.”

“Alright then. Let's get back though. I'm hungry.”

“You just ate,” he winks lasciviously.

“I will push you off this building, Johnny. Don't press me.”

“You're so easy to rile. It's fuckin' amazing,” he snorts before disappearing back down the ladder.

I follow him as he walks me back to the apartment complex and he just does the most unexpected thing by taking my hand. It's far too sweet for a man of Johnny's reputation but I was discovering there was more to him than the legend of Samurai.

  
  


**

  
  


If Johnny had to catch one more person eye fucking you as you walked past, he was gonna start a fight.

So he took your hand, sending a clear message to everyone that you were his. That got rid of a few perverts but not all. Some were giving the both of you some gutter minded looks.

Not hard to see why though when you looked thoroughly fucked out and used. That was the sexiest shit he'd seen in years.

He'd never actually expected you to go through with today. It was more about trying to find out where your limits were but Jesus fucking Christ you went beyond anything he could ever dream of.

Once you were both in the apartment and you went to shower, he lounged on your couch, feeling satiated and satisfied. So what a surprise that Holo You turned up, sitting down next to him.

“You seem shocked I went through with it,” your hand ghosts over his thigh.

“Yeah I am but I'll give it to ya, sweetheart, you're already fuckin' wild.”

“Worth sticking around for?”

“Hell yeah. Now I wanna see what else you do,” he cracks a smirk.

“Just don't push me too far, Johnny. I have a breaking point.”

“And then what happens?” he leans in close to your flickering image.

“You lose all control over me and whatever you've created.”

  
  



End file.
